
Well, it was another stellar day in the life of Emily Hall. Our entire class (that would be all 12 of us plus one teacher) walked to the market this morning to get more practice speaking French. Our instructions were clear: "You must ask the price of something, you must purchase something and you must ask one of the vendors if you can sample something." Simple enough, right? Well, let's just say that I did great on 2 out of the 3. Pretty good, huh?
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First, I asked the price of something - no problem. "Quel est le prix..." Then I swiftly moved on to making my purchases. The exercise was going well. I was on a roll. Nobody could stop me.
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I had one more task....sample something. I was walking around with 2 of my classmates and we stopped in at a cheese vendor. Let me just mention right here that I am not a huge fan of cheese. Now, don't get me wrong....I appreciate fine cheese like the bright orange powdered cheese that comes in a box of Kraft Mac and Cheese Dinner or the ever so delicate flavor of that white cheese product that you can buy in those convenient thin slices wrapped in cellophane....but I draw the line there.
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The cheese vendor must have had a good night's sleep last night because he was on his game this morning to say that least. We didn't even have to use our newly learned phrases to request a sample - he was willingly giving them out. The first one, he explained as he handed us our samples, was "sheep cheese, very mild." I took a tiny bite and forced a smile as I hid the rest of the sample in the palm of my left hand. At that point I didn't know what to do with the remaining cheese so I just crammed it in my left pocket. Yes, you read that right.....I crammed cheese in to my left pocket.
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From there he proceeded to slice up some "cow cheese" (he was speaking to us in English which I think defeats the purpose of our little French speaking excursion) and graciously passed out more samples. Again, I accepted, took a small bite and then artfully deposited the remainder of the sample into my left pocket with the sheep cheese that was already there.
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At this point I was trying to take small steps away from the cheese vendor but he kept right on talking (in great English, I might add) as he reached for the cheese that finally did me in. I could tell from the moment he began slicing it that this was going to end badly. He proudly handed out this cheese with black mold on it to my 2 classmates as I had turned my back trying desperately to act like I was otherwise occupied, hoping that he would leave me out of this 3rd sampling. Nope. I could hear, "Madame, madame..." and I knew he was talking to me. I also knew that I could not ignore him so I slowly turned around resigned to the fact that I would have to take the cheese that would surely bring me to my knees.
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I took the cheese and even managed a quiet, yet polite, "Merci." I reluctantly raised the 'enormous' slice to my mouth and forced myself to take a bite. From there it is all a blur. I began praying that I would be able to keep it in my mouth. Then I prayed that I could swallow it. I must have missed the chewing step but like I said, it all happened so fast....
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At this point, I knew I had to get away from him so I smiled (at least that's what I think the expression on my face was), nodded my head, crammed the rest of the moldy cheese in to my left pocket and started walking. My classmates followed closely behind. They were stunned when I told them I had a pocket full of cheese and I had to get it out because it was melting.
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Anyway, I have recovered and am doing okay now. I was also able to get the cheese out of my left pocket and dispose of it properly. You would think that is the end of the story, wouldn't you? Well, think again because about 15 minutes later I found myself in the same horrible position at the 'sausage' vendor.
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And yes, I ended up with 2 different kinds of meat in my left pocket.